When the Iowa City Police Department (ICPD) investigates crime they go to every conventional length to find clues. They look for possible weapons and perform ballistics testing. Crime scenes are scoured for finger prints and DNA evidence. Witnesses are questioned and hotlines are opened to field anonymous tips. ICPD received an unexpected tip this week. An anonymous caller told police that the suspect (male) had attended the Oklahoma - Georgia Tech NCAA tournament matchup in Iowa City. Police weren't eager to look through ticket purchases for such a celebrated event. That is until they discovered that Iowa City was hosting the
Women's NCAA Tournament. Forty-five minutes was spent sifting through the almost 35 ticket purchases for this event. Police quickly identified the only male in attendance.
Unfortunately for law enforcement, the suspect was never arraigned. When police went to aprehend the man, he was found dead in his apartment. An autopsy later revealed that the man had apparently watched both the first and second round of the Women's Tournament and died of boredom. The coroner said the cause of death will be listed as suicide. "No one should be attempting to watch that much women's basketball." the coroner said, "That's a suicide mission."
I'm a slut.
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