Bio time. Plain and simple. These are the fantasy aristocrats of Bust a Salary Cap. They are fellow league members who appear in our blog posts. Just in case not everyone knows who's who.
Alias: Mr. Glass
Profession: Poker Player
Fantasy Skill: Data Analyst (Spreadsheet Making)
Quote: "I just need to put my shoes on."
Bio: When not card sharking all over the world from London to Dubai, he's excessively breaking down stats, giving J-Smi grief, and blogging about it.
Alias: J-Smi
Profession: Investor
Fantasy Skill: Strategic Theorist (Over thinking fantasy transactions)
Quote: "Dominos? Yea, this is Jeff again."
Bio: When not maximizing returns for millionaires and managing the finances of some of the largest estates in the world, he's spending 3 months deciding if he can drop Baron Davis because "at least he gets 1 steal per game".
Alias: Dark Mounty
Profession: Slave
Fantasy Skill: Foundation Expert (Solid Draft, never make another move)
Quote: "What fantasy league?"
Bio: When not justifying the cost of your IT department, he's trying to remember the URL for the fantasy league.
Alias: Charlton Cha
Profession: Apple Quality Control (iPhone division)
Fantasy Skill: Wealth Manager (Overpaying in Auction Drafts)
Quote: "You're my f*cking birthday"
Bio: When not 'testing the durability' of the new iPhone by spiking it onto cement, he's mortgaging his house to buy Kevin Durant for $250,000.
Alias: Crime Dog
Profession: Eskimo
Fantasy Skill: Strategy Analyst (All-Center Team)
Quote: "Let's get weird."
Bio: When not snow shoeing, he's calling Dark Mounty to get the URL for the fantasy league.
Alias: Z
Profession: Bills Fan Club President
Fantasy Skill: Socialite (Only have big name players)
Quote: "Let me be truthful with you..."
Bio: When not fielding calls from satisfied customers, he's finishing 'first loser' year after year.
Alias: Big Cass
Profession: Movie Critic
Fantasy Skill: Acquisition Manager (Excessive Pickups)
Quote: "Yes, I will 100% be there... You can count on me."
Bio: When not giving Gene Siskel cancer, he's abusing waiver systems to field a team entirely built off of free agency.
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
"Don't Mistake Activity for Achievement" - John Wooden
The late John Wooden once said "Don't mistake activity for achievement". What not a lot of people know is that he also went on to say "Except in fantasy sports, where activity is a necessity. Hell, Big Cass won numerous football championships by using a flawed waiver system and sitting by his laptop all day on Sunday". Some of you might be wondering, how does John Wooden know Big Cass? Look, we all know that John Wooden was an accomplished fantasy sports GM and he definitely can break down splits and build a winning fantasy team but what we didn't know was that he was also a heated rival of Big Cass (the Pride of Tacoma, WA).
Back to my point though, in fantasy sports, activity is how the true professionals make their bacon. Take a look at these standings. Notice anything different between the top of the leader board and the bottom (besides having markedly better team names)? Number of moves. Every team among the top 6 had at least twice as many moves as the bottom of the bracket, and in many cases much more than that. To do some true investigative reporting, we went to the lottery teams and asked them why they weren't making moves.
Team: BYE WEEK
GM: Crime Dog
"I tried to make moves but I was building an igloo and living off the grid all season. Besides, I'll rock all these other teams in W.O.W."
Team: Boots to Asses
GM: Kenny
"I was busy watching Tony Parker YouTube highlight reels and power lifting."
Team: Stern But Fair
GM: Dark Mounty
"I'm working, can you call me back later? What? You want to know why I didn't perform better in my fantasy hoops league? What fantasy hoops league? Look, bro... I just need to finish the last 9 hours of work today so I can sleep 3 hours in my office before tomorrow morning."
Team: Cougs before Bennett
GM: Teddy's Dad
"I had a baby and I lost my teeth and I live in Pullman and I coach soccer and I have red hair and I have no soul. Ka-KA! Brrrrrr!!!! (licks fingers, wipes eyebrows)"
Well there you have it folks. Four owners who foolishly allowed real life to stand in the way of fantasy super stardom. Good for them. I hope the last 6 months of real life was worth it because I'm rocking a virtual fantasy trophy and there are at least 3 other owners in the league who I can harass about it!
Back to my point though, in fantasy sports, activity is how the true professionals make their bacon. Take a look at these standings. Notice anything different between the top of the leader board and the bottom (besides having markedly better team names)? Number of moves. Every team among the top 6 had at least twice as many moves as the bottom of the bracket, and in many cases much more than that. To do some true investigative reporting, we went to the lottery teams and asked them why they weren't making moves.
Team: BYE WEEK
GM: Crime Dog
"I tried to make moves but I was building an igloo and living off the grid all season. Besides, I'll rock all these other teams in W.O.W."
Team: Boots to Asses
GM: Kenny
"I was busy watching Tony Parker YouTube highlight reels and power lifting."
Team: Stern But Fair
GM: Dark Mounty
"I'm working, can you call me back later? What? You want to know why I didn't perform better in my fantasy hoops league? What fantasy hoops league? Look, bro... I just need to finish the last 9 hours of work today so I can sleep 3 hours in my office before tomorrow morning."
Team: Cougs before Bennett
GM: Teddy's Dad
"I had a baby and I lost my teeth and I live in Pullman and I coach soccer and I have red hair and I have no soul. Ka-KA! Brrrrrr!!!! (licks fingers, wipes eyebrows)"
Well there you have it folks. Four owners who foolishly allowed real life to stand in the way of fantasy super stardom. Good for them. I hope the last 6 months of real life was worth it because I'm rocking a virtual fantasy trophy and there are at least 3 other owners in the league who I can harass about it!
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